Thursday, June 18, 2015

I Identify as a Rich White Man


Image result for rachel dolezal





Recently there has been a lot of controversy over the head of the NAACP - their Spokane, WA branch (I guess you call them branches?).  Her name is Rachel Dolezal., and she has been keeping a dark secret.   To explain briefly to my less informed readers (ignorance is bliss, so I don't blame you!) Here's what's going on;   This lady (she does identify as a woman- just to be clear on that part) was recently fired from her position as the head of the Spokane, WA NAACP, er.. branch.  Her crime?  She was claiming to be black but she's actually a closeted white person.  What ?  I've included a picture of her above so all my loyal readers can see what all the fuss is about.  The picture on the left is her  as a child and on the right as a fully evolved African American woman you see on the right.   What's even more shocking ?  She was outed by her parents- who ALSO are white ?   What?  Yes, it turns out that she has had these feelings since she was 5 years old and is now telling the world about them.  That's quite a secret she's been hiding from everybody !  Anyway, she went on Good Morning America and got it all off her chest so now I think we need to understand her predicament and show some humanity.  (By the way she told Matt Lauer that she has been treated "inhumanely" -through all this controversy - I guess especially by her adopted brothers and sisters in the African American community, but not sure about that.  Anyway, she has been treated "inhumanely")

At the core of all this is what Rachel told Matt Lauer, when he asked her in his usual overly dramatic tone;  "are you an African American woman?"., she replied that she "identified" as one.  So.... ergo my title.   Since Bruce Jenner can identify as a woman and then become one and Rachel Dolezal can identify as a black woman and then become one... I've decided that I no longer identify with my middle class financial status.  All my life I've felt like something is wrong with me.  I'm not in the right situation, I struggle with money and that just doesn't feel right.  Something is terribly wrong.  Now I realize, I identify as a Rich White Man !   Now after all these years I can come to terms with my true identify, who I truly am.   If my readers and/ or the media can pick up on this and quickly notify my bank about my confusion then I would appreciate it.  Hurry  !  (You can email me at chuckmarshallwork@gmail.com for my bank account number.)   The good news is I don't identify as a Rich Black Woman so I think me ratcheting down the complexity of my request makes it much more doable.  I only want to change the financial part., far easier than the other two !  I would also appreciate a good counselor I can speak with to  guide me through this transition, one who can hold my hand, help me come to terms with the horror I've been living as a middle class American and maybe also assist with choosing  the best stock and bond portfolio.   I'm getting all sweaty just thinking back and realizing from my youth.... even on the potty, I remember my Mom giving me store brand toilet paper... I wanted Scotts  !   Struggling with money is just not me !   I think its taken a lot of courage and self -reflection for me  to come to this conclusion.  I have to stop writing now because I'm getting my computer all wet with the tears of joy and sadness as I move forward in my transition.  One final thing though, is Kenneth Cole still chic or is that the remnants of my bourgeoisie upbringing?

 Have a Nice Day   :)







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