Wednesday, November 6, 2013

L'âge de l'incompétence

There was a great article in today's paper by local opinion columnist, Scott Maxwell of the Orlando Sentinel.  In the article he elaborates how the state government is fighting the federal courts to be allowed to ban a Doctor from advising his or her patients on the dangers of guns.  The column was very effective in communicating the question;   "Are they all just plain dumb?".  First of all, I have never had a Doctor mention anything remotely close to how I handle guns in my home.   That would be, in my humble opinion, a very odd conversation;

 "So, Mr. Marshall are you careful with guns in your house at this point because I see you have younger children that might be inclined to grab your guns and fire them in an inappropriate way- like towards each other or themselves ?"  "Well, Doc... I am very careful with my guns, thank you very much,  but thanks for advising on that point.  I'm also very careful to look both ways before crossing the street when my little ones are in tow and I have forbid them from playing in traffic".

That's just weird.  So, anyway, our genius state government wants it to be illegal for such an oddball conversation.  They have already made fools of themselves regarding the law which was shot down by the courts as totally unconstitutional, but now they've gone so far as to spend $97,000 in legal fees to fight the federal courts over this same issue.  Our local schools are not busing students that live closer to their school than 2 miles because of budget cuts, but our wonderful leaders in Tallahassee make sure the citizens of Florida are solidly behind banning personal conversations between Doctors and their patients.

In a previous blog I elaborated on what our times might be called, and I think I've decided.  I vote for "The Age of Incompetence" or say it in French and it sounds even better  "L'âge de l'incompétence".  Say it  with scorn and arrogance the way a Frenchman would and just as our leaders deserve.  One for the history books, folks.

In My Humble Opinion.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

October 30, 2013 A Change of Pace for this Blog

Dear loyal reader,

I normally write a blog called  "Marshall in the Middle" (formerly known as Chuck Marshall's Humble Opinion), but I've decided to start working on this blog because I'm sick of politics and I'm sick of hearing myself talk about politics... er, write about politics.    That doesn't mean I won't still write in "Marshall in the Middle" but it  does mean I'm going to lighten up and write more fun stuff.  Don't worry loyal readers, I'm still going to be generally annoyed and cranky, but regarding more benign issues such as movies or the activities of my family or things about the modern world that bug me.  In other words, I'll never run out of material.  

I may start offering up specific topics on this blog because sometimes I'm in the mood for a series of topics.  I have an idea for a series called "How to get rich without doing squat", but I don't want to start a whole new blog just for that.   I'll  call these topics flavor of the day" topics so as you flip through the book that this will eventually be, you can quickly flip over to your favorite topic and savor my everyday wisdom. 

Also, since I only write Marshall in the Middle a few times a month, this might be an opportunity for you, loyal reader to indulge in my witticisms with more regular frequency lest you go through Chuck Marshall withdrawal.   In addition, I'll probably add Marshall  in the Middle editions in to this blog so I have one place for all my work (and also, I admit so I don't have to write two blogs in a given day).  Marshall in the Middle fits into Journal of an American Malcontent well because it tends to be cranky too.  

Have a good day.  

Monday, June 10, 2013

Car Inurance Ads; Someobdy's profit margin is way too high

I've got a "beef".....

I've been thinking lately about all the ads on TV for car insurance.  Those people have too much money.    It is beyond absurd how many ads there are for car insurance;  Geico wth the lizard, State Farm with that stupid "like a good neighbor" where their agent pops in (I hate those commercials), and of course "Flo" for Progressive.  They must spend in the billions for those ads.  This tells me the car insurance companies are making way too much money,  I feel confident that if you stripped all the ads and then had them charge what would be a fair price for taking on the risk of your having an accident, then car insurance would cost about $5 per month.  

Monday, January 7, 2013

Football Announcers Jan 7, 2013

Well, this one is an easy target, but since I'm watching the "Discover" BCS National Championship Bowl game between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Alabama Crimson Tide, I figured I'd go ahead and make a few sage observations regarding how annoying football announcers are.

1) I really don't care for  Brent Musburger, starting with his name, and then continuing on with his nasal voice and his totally annoying comments.  Also, he's a well-known "Gator Hater" which makes him as loathsome a talking head as there can be.  Why do they always have him for these big games?  It ruins everything for me.

2)  It would be so nice if they didn't feel the need to ALWAYS speak.  Why don't they just shut up sometimes... catch their breath, drink some water... go to the bathroom.  We can see what's going on, if there's nothing to really say then just SHUT UP !  Right now Notre Dame is getting it's limey ass kicked all over the field and guess what?  The announcers keep telling us that fact over, and over and over again.  "Yes, we can see they're not doing too well by looking at the score !"

3)  If I was a college football player I would send a note to the announcers before the game to "Please, for the love of God don't describe me with superlatives"  because that is the kiss of death in college football.  As soon as the announcers says something glowing and absolute, ie;  "this is the best field goal kicker I've seen in many, many years and he has a promising career ahead of him"., the next play the poor kid misses a field goal and gets a career ending injury in the process.

OK, now I have to take back some of the nasty things I said about Brent Musburger. as he made a great and true comment that aptly describes this annhilation;  "If this was a prize fight they'd call it off right now".   Alabama 28, Notre Dame 0., and it's just the first half.  Wow, this is bad.  Sorry Notre Dame, I don't think your lucky charms are working too much right now.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

January 6, 2013- Movies that don't make logical sense

You know what bugs me?  When you watch a movie and it's not really logical.  I took the family to see "Skyfall" last night., the latest James Bond movie.  I did enjoy it, and the family enjoyed it... but I just can't recommend it too heartily unless I tell the person I'm recommending it to that they have to suspend reality for a few hours.

My wife says "it's a movie!", like I'm suppose to be satisfied with that.  But, at the very beginning it shows very clearly that Bond is shot while fighting the "bad guy" on top of moving train and you see him flinch after the shot is fired (from a fellow British agent because she was told to by "M" to fire the shot 'cause the bad guy has a critical list and.... oh, nevermind, it's hard to explain).  Anyway, he falls about 200 feet into a river and then you see his body flow down a steep waterfall and then he drifts to the bottom of the river as Adele sings her tune.  Well, I know and you know he's not dead otherwise there is no movie.  BUT, there was NO EXPLANATION as to how he survived.  That bugs me.  Suddenly he's in bed with some Turkish woman., absolutely no reasoning as to how he met her, how he recovered, and how he got a strange Turkish woman to bed so very quickly ?!  Not logical.

Another thing.  Towards the end of the movie they lure the bad guy to a home in the Scottish countryside (called "Skyfall"- get it ?- and the symbol on the gate entrance is a Buck, which I'm not sure how that ties into the name Skyfall) and it turns out this was Bond's boyhood home.  Well, they lure the bad guy with Bond, "M", and then the old caretaker shows up (who, by the way knew Bond as a boy- Of course !)    Wouldn't you think they'd be a little bit more prepared knowing this guy is going to show up with an army of bad guys, "bent" on killing "M" and then torturing Bond ?  But no, they have three people, one antique shotgun, a dagger, and rigged explosives made from ceiling lamps.  (It's hard to explain).  Also, a beautiful Aston Martin 1960's era that gets all "shot up" and "blown up" making me cry in my popcorn

Another thing.  When they first meet the old caretaker, it's explained that the house has been sold.  Well, by the end of the movie that house is an exploded inferno thanks to an attack helicopter that shot about 2000 rounds of machine gun fire, about 5 hand grenades (That Bond rolls away from without a scratch by the way- Why should anyone be afraid of hand grenades,they don't seem to do much to human beings ?)  and then Bond uses what looks like a pair of old propane tanks and a few sticks of dynamite causing an explosion that resembled a nuclear bomb, not 30 year old sticks of dynamite and two old propane gas tanks.   I found myself wondering how the new homeowners are going to explain this to the insurance company, and will they be covered?  Can you imagine the claims agent wandering around those ruins?  Yes, these things run through my brain.

Anyway, I give the movie a 4 out of 5 stars.  It loses the star for not being very logical.  Good flick, though....

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Gator Haters- January 3, 2013

You know what I can't stand?  

 I can't stand when your football team loses and one of your "friends" posts taunting comments on FB that they delight in your team losing.  WTF !  I had a friend post that they get a "special delight" in my Gators losing.  Huh?  So, I posted back that I enjoy when their team, the Pittsburgh Steelers (what a stupid name) lose so much more.  HA !  We got into a bit of a "row" over the whole thing as a result.  Very juvenille  for sure but I couldn't let her get away with that.  Another Gator Hater posted other blithering happy comments as soon as the game was over.  This guy is a stupid Seminole who spelled loathe "loath" and proceeded to babble that this was Karma for us being "arrogant".  Arrogant?  It's only arrogance if there's nothing backing it up.   I mean, we're the best team in the country, we have the best fans., we win all the time in all sports, the University of Florida is the best college in the southeast (at least public), it's the best looking campus in Florida  (have you seen Univ of Miami?- they should stretch a chain link fence around it with signs stating "hazard")  and our students and alumni are the best looking, the most talented, the richest, just... better....  Anyway, I reminded the stupid Seminole that the Gators beat them IN TALLAHASSEE by 11 points and rolled all over them like a dog roles in shit.  

Why would anyone hate us?   I don't get it.  

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